Maria Menounos

Why Shame and Guilt Are Both Lies + More Life Lessons with David Koechner

Maria Menounos guest David Koechner on Shame and Guilt

Most of us know David Koechner as a comedy legend who graced our screens in classics like Anchorman and NBC’s The Office. But in this interview, we see a different side of the actor as we sit down and discuss deeper subjects such as the why shame and guilt are both lies, how to control anger, how to find the answers from within, and much more. David has accumulated a LOT of wisdom over the course of his life and shared some of those nuggets with the Heal Squad. He even hosted an intervention and therapy session with our very own producer during the interview (which you can find in Part 2 of our episode on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Podcast).  

In order to find answers, we need to ask ourselves the right questions

In this world, we often expect to be given what we want. But if we don’t ask the right questions, we will never actually receive what we desire. And as a result, we cannot formulate a plan to reach that goal. 


Turn to your body for answers  

Oftentimes, we look outward for the answers to some of life’s most daunting questions when instead, as cliche as it sounds, we should be looking within ourselves. Our body holds all of the answers, it is just a matter of listening to it. 


The answers from our lungs

While many consider the brain to be the most important part of the body, David preaches the opposite. He instead highlights the lungs and argues that they hold all the answers. 


Make anger unavailable 

David defines anxiety as “a reaction to your feelings of wounds and pain.” Oftentimes, instead of looking deeper into what is causing our anxiety, we react with anger. David suggests that because we do not know how to alleviate this feeling, we make it unavailable all together. It is unnecessary and can even be harmful, especially to the ones we love the most – our children.


Try the blink app 

David shares his newfound gem – the blink app. The app distills business books into 15 minute episodes.


“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”

David argues that “the falsehood associated with God is dogma.” No one or book can tell anyone what god is since no one actually knows what he or she said. The only thing we should be following is the golden rule.


5 easy rules to live by 

5 rules you should try to live by: 1) slow down 2) be kind 3) be patient 4) be creative 5) do your job. 


Resentment kills relationships 

Resentment can pose a real threat on a relationship, but can also be cured with 2 simple words: thank you. 


Shame and guilt are both lies 

Commonly preached as a reminder to be good by institutions like the Catholic Church, guilt and shame actually just prevent us from feeling our true emotions. And therefore, they do not serve us and must be disposed of from our minds. 


Do not let the label of sinner define you 

The modern use of the word “sin” is not only inaccurate, but harmful. The true Greek definition of sin is “to miss the mark.” Missing the mark only means that we have the chance to improve. However in today’s society, to sin means to have wronged and leads to thoughts of guilt and shame. Further, to be labeled a sinner causes great psychological distress, so much so that it can lead some to self-harm. 


Grant your children the gift of discovery 

Oftentimes parents unintentionally limit their children, setting them up to fail. To prevent this, we must 1) see them and 2) hear them. Instead of telling them what to do and think, allow them to make their own discoveries. 


Follow the 1% solution

David shares the book “The One Percent Solution” which reveals that change occurs 1% at a time.


Always remember you ARE good enough 

The mind can tell some really convincing lies, one of the most common being that we are not good enough. David reminds us that we are not only good enough, but more than enough. 


Listen to the 2-part interview here: 



For more episodes, check out Better Together with Maria Menounos, your Life Improvement series. Subscribe to Youtube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.