Heal Squad was joined by Judy Wilkins Smith, a licensed clinical social worker, and expert on generational patterns. Judy shared with us the impact of family dynamics and how we can break negative generational patterns that we inherited from our parents or grandparents. She explained that multigenerational patterns are often transmitted from one generation to another subconsciously. These patterns affect various aspects of our lives, such as relationships, finances, health, or behavior. For example, if your parents had a dysfunctional relationship, it’s possible that you may also struggle to form healthy relationships.
She emphasized the importance of becoming aware of these patterns and their impact on our lives. She suggested that we start by examining our own behavior and noticing if we’re repeating any patterns that we might have learned from our family… notice where there is friction or a trigger, that might be a pattern. Once we’ve identified these patterns, we can work on breaking free from them and creating healthier habits. Here are
Judy’s Tips for Breaking Generational Patterns
Identify the patterns
The first step is to identify the patterns that may be impacting your life. You can start by reflecting on your childhood and family relationships and noticing any negative behaviors or beliefs that you may have inherited from your parents or grandparents.
Challenge negative beliefs
Once you’ve identified the patterns, it’s important to challenge any negative beliefs that may be fueling them. For example, if you believe that you’re not good enough because your parents always criticized you, you can work to replace that belief with a more positive one, such as “I am worthy and deserving of love and respect.”
If you have family members who are still perpetuating negative patterns, it’s important to set boundaries and limit your exposure to them. This could mean limiting phone calls or visits, or even cutting off contact if necessary.
Breaking free from negative patterns can be challenging, so it’s important to seek support from others. This could be through therapy, support groups, or simply talking to a trusted friend or family member.
Forgiving those who have hurt us can be a powerful tool for healing and moving forward. This doesn’t mean condoning their behavior or forgetting what they did, but rather, releasing any negative emotions you are harboring and focusing on healing.
Create new patterns
Finally, it’s important to create new, positive patterns that can replace the negative ones. This could mean forming new, healthy relationships, practicing self-care, or developing new habits and behaviors that support your well-being. Choosing you!
Overall, breaking free from negative multigenerational patterns takes time and effort, but with the right tools and support, it’s possible to create a brighter future for ourselves and future generations.
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